A Troll's Diary
by Chibi J12
Summary: Haku makes Neru get a diary so she can write down her "feelings." Neru then writes down all about her experiences, Len, Miku and the other vocaloids. Slight NeruxLen, MikuxKaito and bunch of other ships (Don't worry they're slight)
1. Chapter 1

1/29/13

Dear diary,

Stupid Haku. She made get a dumb book to write down my "feelings", ever since she saw my song "Gocha Gocha Ursee" on YouTube. She said if I start writing down my "feelings" I might warm up little. Yeah right, I'll never change and nobody will make me! Now I totally regret singing that stupid song and uploading it on the Internet. Well anyways, I saw Len today. As always he looks so cute! I don't know why but ever since I met him, I feel as if my heart flutters. I was going to talk to him, but then I saw _her_ right next to him, talking to him. The girl right next to him was Rin, who's his mirror image twin thingy, oh I don't know! It's totally unfair that Rin is the closest with him; Len deserves someone better, like me! Well, I don't hate Rin that much, I'm just jealous that she gets all of Len's attention. Who I really hate is that green, blue, or turquoise (Her hair color is so weird that you don't know what color it is D: ) haired girl, MIKU! She hogs all the attention, and she's so goody goody. Everyone loves her, and thinks she was the vocaloid created WHEN IT WAS LEON AND LOLA, I think. Or was it Meiko? UGH I DON'T KNOW, BUT ALL I KNOW SHE WASN'T THE FIRST VOCALOID. You know what, I'm bored. Nobody is answering my text messages because either they're busy or they don't have my phone number. I was thinking I could go on the Internet and start trolling. I so good at trolling that some people call me the "Master of Trolling" or the "Queen of the Internet." Yup, I'm that badass at trolling. But the only problem is I don't know which site to troll on. Maybe I should go on Twitter and troll on Miku's page, yeah! Well then I better get started so I guess see ya. GREEN IS THE ENEMY!

See ya later,

"The Queen of the Internet" or if you so forgetful its me AKITA NERU!


	2. Chapter 2

2/3/12

Dear Diary,

Today was such a weird day. It all started when I was playing on my phone, and I get a text message. I open it and found out it was Kaito.

"I need your help"-Kaito. I wonder why he needs my help, he barely talks to me! Gosh he doesn't even say hi! I groaned and I text him back.

"Fine what is it?"- Neru

A few minutes later I got another text message, so I open it.

"I want you to teach me on how to be a troll"- Kaito

"What the hell?" I laughed. Kaito as a troll, he must be joking.

"You're joking, right?"- Neru

Then I waited for him to send back his answer. Ten minutes later he did and I opened the text message, again.

"No I'm not. PLEASE TEACH ME NERU D: !"- Kaito

Okay maybe ice cream lover isn't joking. But I wonder why he wants to troll, he's too nice and stuff. If a Troll School existed he would get a F+ on his exams, yeah he's that nice. But since he really that desperate, I'll help because I pity the childish 20-year-old guy. I grabbed my phone and quickly texted him back.

"Fine, I'll go over there right now, sheesh!"- Neru

So I got dressed in my usual casual clothes, grabbed my phone and laptop and began walking over to Kaito's house. Kaito lives near by Haku and I's house, so he's basically like 3 blocks away from my house. His house is a normal sized house, with a navy blue roof; it seems normal on the outside. When you go inside, it kind of clean but when you look into his refrigerator, the only thing you can find is ice cream.

"Gosh this guy is obsessed." I mumbled to myself.

"Hi Neru-chan!" Kaito greeted me and hugged me. I blushed and angrily told him, "Hey, let go of me!" He quickly let go of me and exclaimed, "Sorry, I'm just really happy to see you, anyways I really need your help."

I smiled and proudly answered, "No need to fear, the Internet Queen is here." Kaito then quickly got his silver Apple laptop, which has an ice cream sticker with a smiling face, I'm not surprised.

"So why do want me to teach you on how to be a troll." I asked with curiosity. Kaito looked at me, and his expression darkened.

"Its terrible, and I'll tell you later." he sighed as he started his laptop. Once the laptop started, he got on YouTube and clicked on Gakupo's video, Dancing Samurai.

"So you want to troll on Gakupo's video?" I guessed, and Kaito then turned to me, very shocked and gasped, "How did you know?! Are you psychic?" I quickly face palmed myself and groaned, "No you idiot, I just guessed."

"Okay so can you please teach me now?" Kaito pleaded.

"Fine then, rule number one, show NO MERCY!" I explained with him.

"Okay , show no mercy!" Kaito repeated as he typed into the computer and clicked send. I glanced at what he sent, and I was very shocked.

"SCREW GAKUPO, WHY DO YOU PEOPLE LIKE HIM, HE'S JUST A FEMIMINE, PEVERTED, SUCKISH, OLD SAMURAI THAT DESERVES TO BE IN RIN'S HAND GARDEN THINGY AND RUN OVER WITH A ROADROLLER!"- Ice cream lover

"Um…Kaito, I think that was a bit over the top…" I commented. I mean Gakupo is pretty perverted at times, especially one time when I was the beach with all the other vocaloids. I was minding my own business and playing in the water. My brother, Nero, told me to look down. I quickly did and saw Gakupo, underwater, stroking MY LEGS! Well I was pretty pissed off and I convinced Nero to chase after him, and we together beat up Gakupo. We didn't hurt him that much, he just had a nosebleed that lasted for 9 minutes and was still blushing. But he's nice and he doesn't really deserve the mean comments.

"But, he did something very terrible." Kaito hissed.

"What was it?" I asked and stared at him.

"He….He ate my last ice cream without my permission…" Kaito sobbed. I gave him a very intense stare and smacked him very hard on the head.

"YOU IDIOT, YOU GO AROUND TROLLING PEOPLE WITHOUT A GOOD REASON!" I yelled at him.

"My ice cream…" Kaito mumbled with sadness. I angrily sighed, "You can always buy ice cream at the supermarket." It was a very awkward silence as we stared at each other. I got a text message from Haku telling me to come back because she lost her keys because she was partying with Meiko.

"Well I've got to go, you better say sorry to eggplant moron." I explained to him.

"Oh okay, bye Neru, it was nice talking to you!" he answered with a kind smile. I exited the house and began walking to my house.

"Kaito seems to be a pretty good troll, maybe I should invite him next time to troll on Miku's facebook." I thought with an evil smirk.

"NERU, HELP ME! I LOST MY KEYS!" Haku yelled. Not again…Stupid Haku.

"Coming!" I answered as I rushed over there to help her. Well it just took 10 minutes just to find her keys, it was behind a bush. I would write more in this stupid, old book but Haku is calling me for dinner. Haku is okay at cooking, but thank goodness Nero isn't cooking. HE IS TERRIBLE.

"HURRY UP NERU!" called Nero.

"I'm coming, sheesh!"

Bye,

A very pissed off Neru


	3. Chapter 3

5/15/13

Dear Diary,

I wasn't planning to write in this, but Haku made me! So don't think I'm actually enjoying writing in this or anything like that! But the reason is why I'm writing in this because today was a pretty crappy day, and it all started when Haku forgot to pay the phone bill:

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I screamed in pure frustration. I kept pressing the buttons on my phone, as I desperately tried to text Len. For some stupid, unknown reason, my phone wasn't working. I threw my phone onto my yellow bed and angrily exited out of my room. My little wimpy brother, Nero, was calmly walking by but then he noticed my "happy" expression.

"What's wrong Neru?" he meekly asked me with his round, yellow eyes.

"Why the hell do you care!" I hissed at him and looked away. Nero rolled his eyes and walked back into his room. When I finally arrived at Haku's room, I began banging on her door.

"HAKU, YOU BITCH, OPEN THE DOOR!" I yelled at her. A minute later, I began kicking the door, and I threw Nero's shoes at it.

"MY SHOES!" Nero squealed and rushed over to pick them up. Then a drunken Haku opened the door, with a bottle of sake in her hand, and a stupid smile.

"Heeeeeey Neru, how's my best friend?" she giggled. I narrowed my eyes and growled, "Have you paid the damn phone bill?"

"Neru, stop swearing too much!" Haku scolded me and ruffled my hair despite my angry protests.

"So did you?" I repeated and glared at her. Haku stared at me for a whole minute before answering

"OH THE PHONE BILL!" Haku cheerfully called out. I began to smile, and quickly asked her, "You did?!"

"Nope!" she happily admitted and began humming "The Daughter of White", one of the only songs that she is proud of. I immediately face-palmed myself and groaned.

"Then pay it right NOW!" I ordered her as I kicked her bed. Haku groaned, and looked for her wallet.

"Your wallet is in the kitchen…" I impatiently told her, and tapped my foot. Haku nodded, and dizzily walked over to the kitchen. What an idiot she is! It took her 10 minutes just to find her wallet! After she found her wallet, she happily gave it to me.

"Okay Neru, you can go pay it!" she happily exclaimed, as I swore under my breath. I angrily opened the door, and WALKED to the phone store.

"...Damn Haku just had to drunk and lazy…" I mumbled to myself as I walked into the store. I walked up to the front desk, and saw a girl with long white hair working on the computer. She then turned to me and smiled dreamily.

"Hello, how may I-"

"Neru Akita." I growled and glared at her. The girl flinched and hurriedly began searching my name on the computer. Weird…I feel like I have seen this girl before, but where?

"Um…what is your business, Miss Akita?" the girl meekly asked and stared at me. The girl still had that stupid expression on her face as if she was magically transported to Wonderland or something!

"I need to pay my phone bill." I coldly told her. The girl nodded and went back on her computer again.

"Um, you already paid the bill." The girl answered casually. I angrily groaned as kicked the store's door open and walked out.

"Have a nice day!" the girl called out but I ignored her. When I got home, I saw Nero staring lovingly at a photo of Rin. He quickly noticed me, and he hid the photo.

"So, how was your small trip?" he asked. I forced myself to smile, and I sweetly told him, "Just peachy!"

"That's good." Nero innocently answered back.

"Do you know where Haku is?" I asked him. He nodded and pointed at the direction where Haku's room is. I thanked him, and busted the door open. Without hesitation, I began punching Haku.

"DAMN YOU!" I screeched at her. Haku flinched at me and cried out, "I'm sorry, I forgot!"

I angrily sighed, and kicked her bed. Well I was pretty stupid to do that because my foot started aching as bad as if someone threw a boulder at it. I winced a little but I shook off the pain. Then angrily glared at Haku, and sprinted to my room to be alone. For the rest of the day, I was pretty pissed off at Haku for making me walk to the damn phone store for no reason. Oh, I hear Nero calling me; he probably wants me to give him Rin's phone number. What a desperate, idiotic brother I have.

Forever angry at Haku,

Neru Akita


End file.
